💪I create resources to help people adapt to living with chronic illness so they can thrive.
💭 When being “easy” costs more than you realize
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Hi Reader, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how often people pleasing sneaks into life with chronic illness without us even noticing. Not the obvious kind. The kind that looks like pushing a little longer, explaining a little more, resting a little later. The kind that feels responsible, considerate, and necessary… right up until your body starts pushing back. I wrote a new post this week about people pleasing and chronic illness, and it’s a tender one. Not because it offers a fix, but because it names something many of us have been carrying for a long time without language for it. For me, people pleasing wasn’t about being nice. It was about trying to stay employable, dependable, and “easy” in a body that no longer worked the way it used to. Letting go brought relief, yes, but it also brought grief. Both truths mattered. If you’ve ever felt like your days are shaped more by expectations than capacity, this post might help you feel a little less alone with that tension. It doesn’t ask you to set perfect boundaries or overhaul your life. It simply makes space for honesty. You can read the full post here: People Pleasing and Chronic Illness: What It Costs Your Energy and How I Started Letting Go And if reading it stirs something but you’re not sure what to do next, that’s okay. I’ve gathered several free resources on my site, and you’re welcome to explore whichever one feels most supportive right now. There’s no right starting point. Take good care of yourself today, |
April Smith | The Thriving Spoonie
💪I create resources to help people adapt to living with chronic illness so they can thrive.
Hi Reader, Can I tell you something I wish someone had said to me early on in my diagnosis? Changing the plan isn't failing. It's actually one of the most important skills you can build when you're living with chronic illness. For a long time, I treated flexibility like a last resort — something I reluctantly reached for when my body left me no other choice. And every time I used it, I felt guilty about it, like I was somehow proving that I couldn't handle things the way I was supposed to....
Hey Reader, I want to ask you something. When was the last time you rested without negotiating with yourself first? Not rested because you'd finally done enough, or because you crashed and had no choice — but just rested because your body asked for it and you said yes. If you're like most of the people in this community, that's a hard question to answer. Because somewhere along the way, we all absorbed the same message: rest is a reward. You earn it. And if you haven't done enough yet, you...
Hi, Reader! I want to start with something important: you are not the problem. You've tried harder than most people will ever understand. You've set the alarms, built the schedules, color-coded the planners. You've pushed through symptom days to keep the streak alive. And then your body did what it does, and the whole thing fell apart — and somehow you ended up feeling like you failed. You didn't. The framework did. The consistency model most of us have been handed assumes something your body...