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April Smith | The Thriving Spoonie

đź’ŞI create resources to help people adapt to living with chronic illness so they can thrive.

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🙅‍♀️ When saying “no” starts to feel like freedom

Hi Reader, Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach right before you tell someone “no”? It’s not just discomfort—it’s conditioning. Many of us were taught that being “good” means being agreeable, helpful, and low-maintenance. So when chronic illness enters the picture, that programming doesn’t disappear. It just becomes impossible to maintain. For a long time, I thought being dependable meant saying yes, even when I was exhausted. I didn’t see how often I was trading my peace for...

Hi there Reader, Have you ever felt like your home is quietly working against you? Like no matter how much you pace or plan, even the simplest tasks—folding laundry, unloading the dishwasher, brushing your teeth—end up costing more energy than you expected? I used to think I just needed more willpower. That if I followed the right routine or “pushed through” just a little better, I’d finally stay on top of things. But eventually, I realized the problem wasn’t me. It was the space I was trying...

Hey Reader, I’ll be honest—last week was a rough week health-wise. The kind that reminds me that even with pacing, planning, and all the right tools, chronic illness has its own agenda. And when that happens, the best thing I can do is not push harder, but to pause. So, instead of forcing myself to crank out a new blog post, I wanted to send a more honest kind of update—one that I think many of us need right now as the holidays approach. If you’ve also been running on fumes lately, you’re not...

Hi Reader, I used to think pacing was about discipline—saying no more often, scheduling rest, or sticking to a perfectly balanced routine. But even when I tried to “do everything right,” burnout still crept in. That’s when I realized pacing with chronic illness isn’t really about plans at all. It’s about awareness. So I started doing something small every Sunday afternoon: a 10-minute self-check-in with my coffee and planner open beside me. Instead of jumping straight into what I wanted to do...

Hi Reader, Have you ever caught yourself wondering who you really are now that your energy, pace, or capacity has changed? I don’t just mean identity in a philosophical sense. I mean the messy, day-to-day version of it—the way you dress, how you talk about your needs, the people you choose to keep close (or not). The way your values show up in how you live... or how you wish they could show up, if your body just gave you more to work with. For a long time, I thought living authentically meant...

Hey Reader, Have you ever noticed how the hardest part of fatigue isn’t always the exhaustion itself? For me, the emotional fallout used to hurt even more than the crash. When my energy tanked, I didn’t just cancel plans or shuffle my to-do list. I spiraled. I replayed every other time I’d had to back out, every worry about letting people down, every nagging thought that maybe this really was my fault. The fatigue would pass eventually. But the shame? That stuck around. I used to think I...

Sometimes I forget how long people like us have been fighting to be seen. When you live with chronic illness, it can feel like every struggle is new. Like no one has ever dealt with the exact combination of symptoms, doctors, paperwork, and doubt that you’re facing right now. And in a lot of ways, this path is uniquely yours. But this week, I’ve been thinking about the people who walked it first. The ones who didn’t have access to the internet or online communities. Who didn’t have language...

If you’ve ever hit Sunday night already dreading the week ahead—this one’s for you. I used to spend my Sundays trying to force a plan that looked good on paper. I’d sit with my planner and try to pretend I knew how much energy I’d have, how many things I could realistically handle, or how “productive” I should be. But when you live with chronic illness, it doesn’t work like that. You can’t plan your week around certainty. You can, however, pace it around compassion. What finally helped me...

Hey Reader, Have you ever bought a new planner hoping it would fix everything? I have. More than once. Every August, when the back-to-school sales hit and everyone starts talking about “fresh starts” and “new routines,” I used to get swept up in it. I’d spend hours looking at time-blocking templates and productivity systems, convinced that this time I’d finally keep up. But no matter how carefully I planned, I always ended up in the same cycle: Overcommitted. Behind. Exhausted. And I started...

Hey there, Reader! There’s a difference between being kind and being accommodating at your own expense—but it took me a long time to learn that. Especially when you’ve been raised to be agreeable. Easygoing. Helpful. Someone who doesn’t “make a fuss.”And when chronic illness enters the picture? That conditioning doesn’t just stay—it digs in deeper. Before I got sick, I was the person everyone could count on.After I got sick, I still tried to be that person… until my body made it impossible....