Hi Reader, I want to start this email with a little transparency, because it’s something I value here and something I hope you feel in this community. First, a change to how I’m running the blog. Going forward, I’ll be publishing two new posts a month, plus two updated posts. I’ve been wanting to refresh a lot of my older content anyway, and this gives me a steadier, more sustainable rhythm. You’ll still get fresh content, and your favorite older posts will get a little extra care. Honestly,...
8 days ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, Can I tell you something? The money side of chronic illness might be the heaviest thing we carry and the thing we talk about least. I know how it feels to put off opening a bill because you do not have the energy to face what is inside. I know the quiet math, the guilt over a smaller paycheck, and the way the holidays can make all of it louder. And I know how lonely it gets when it seems like nobody else is doing that math. You are not bad with money, and you are not alone in this....
15 days ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, When someone asks how you've been, how much of your answer is edited? I don't mean lying. I mean the quick pass most of us run before we speak: this version for a coworker, that one for the in-laws, the real one for the two or three people who've seen us on a bad day. That editing takes energy, and it's energy we were already short on. I rewrote an older post about chronic illness and identity to get at this. It covers why "don't let your illness define you" can make things...
22 days ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader,A reader reached out and let me know the link to the blog post wasn't working - sorry about that! I've fixed the error and you can access the post now through this link:Letting Go of Expectations With Chronic Illness Without Feeling Like You're Giving Up Thanks for your patience and understanding, April SmithWebsite | Facebook | Bluesky | Pinterest
29 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, I want to talk about a specific kind of guilt this week: the one that shows up right after you decide to stop expecting something of yourself that your body can't deliver anymore. If you've ever lowered a standard for your work, your plans, or your recovery timeline, and immediately felt like you'd given up rather than adjusted, this post is for you. I break down why that reaction happens, what the old expectation was actually protecting underneath the surface, and a few concrete...
29 days ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, A while back, someone asked me the question everyone asks: "So what do you do for fun?" I opened my mouth and nothing came out. The honest answer had become "manage my body," and I knew that wasn't the answer she wanted. I stood there running through a mental list of things I used to enjoy, trying to figure out which ones were still true. That gap between the version of myself I could still name and the version I could actually live is where this week's post lives. Not the grief of...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, I want to tell you about a kind of grief I didn't have a name for until pretty far into this journey. It's not grief for my health, exactly. It's grief for a person who was already in motion before I got sick. Someone with a trajectory. Plans that made sense. A version of themselves they were actively becoming, one ordinary year at a time. Chronic illness didn't just interrupt that person's plans. It asked me to let them go entirely, without ever asking permission first. For a long...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader, Somewhere in my first year or two after diagnosis, I caught my own reflection and had this small, strange thought: I don't totally recognize this person. Not dramatic. Just a quiet double-take. Patience running differently. Energy running differently. Even my sense of humor felt rewired somehow, in a way I couldn't fully explain to anyone who hadn't lived it. For a while I tried to fix it, like enough effort could get me back to exactly who I was before. What actually helped was...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, Some days the routine just isn't happening. Pain's louder than usual, brain fog's thick, or there's no reason at all, just that heavy exhaustion that tells you today's going to look different. I used to try to push through those days anyway. It never worked. I'd end up more burned out, in more pain, and further behind than if I'd just adjusted in the first place. So I stopped. Now I've got three versions of my routine ready to go, depending on what the day actually gives me, and a...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read