💪I create resources to help people adapt to living with chronic illness so they can thrive.
Hi Reader,A reader reached out and let me know the link to the blog post wasn't working - sorry about that! I've fixed the error and you can access the post now through this link:Letting Go of Expectations With Chronic Illness Without Feeling Like You're Giving Up Thanks for your patience and understanding, April SmithWebsite | Facebook | Bluesky | Pinterest
Hey Reader, I want to talk about a specific kind of guilt this week: the one that shows up right after you decide to stop expecting something of yourself that your body can't deliver anymore. If you've ever lowered a standard for your work, your plans, or your recovery timeline, and immediately felt like you'd given up rather than adjusted, this post is for you. I break down why that reaction happens, what the old expectation was actually protecting underneath the surface, and a few concrete...
Hi Reader, A while back, someone asked me the question everyone asks: "So what do you do for fun?" I opened my mouth and nothing came out. The honest answer had become "manage my body," and I knew that wasn't the answer she wanted. I stood there running through a mental list of things I used to enjoy, trying to figure out which ones were still true. That gap between the version of myself I could still name and the version I could actually live is where this week's post lives. Not the grief of...
Hi Reader, I want to tell you about a kind of grief I didn't have a name for until pretty far into this journey. It's not grief for my health, exactly. It's grief for a person who was already in motion before I got sick. Someone with a trajectory. Plans that made sense. A version of themselves they were actively becoming, one ordinary year at a time. Chronic illness didn't just interrupt that person's plans. It asked me to let them go entirely, without ever asking permission first. For a long...
Hi Reader, Somewhere in my first year or two after diagnosis, I caught my own reflection and had this small, strange thought: I don't totally recognize this person. Not dramatic. Just a quiet double-take. Patience running differently. Energy running differently. Even my sense of humor felt rewired somehow, in a way I couldn't fully explain to anyone who hadn't lived it. For a while I tried to fix it, like enough effort could get me back to exactly who I was before. What actually helped was...
Hey Reader, Some days the routine just isn't happening. Pain's louder than usual, brain fog's thick, or there's no reason at all, just that heavy exhaustion that tells you today's going to look different. I used to try to push through those days anyway. It never worked. I'd end up more burned out, in more pain, and further behind than if I'd just adjusted in the first place. So I stopped. Now I've got three versions of my routine ready to go, depending on what the day actually gives me, and a...
Hi Reader, I hope your August is treating you kindly, because mine has been a lot lately. Between my husband's work schedule shifting around him lately, our community volunteer commitments ramping up for fall, and my own Tuesday choir practice, dinner has become the one thing I genuinely don't have extra energy left for by the time evening rolls around. And that's before my GI issues decide to flare and toss the whole plan out anyway. So this month, I stopped trying to plan meals and started...
Hi Reader, I want to tell you about a morning recently that didn't go anything like it was supposed to. I'd had a flare bad enough that I ended up calling my husband home from work. Pain and nausea that just wouldn't let up, my body sweating and shivering through it while my nervous system tried to sort itself out. Not fun. And for a few days after, my normal morning routine, the one I actually rely on, meds before food, food before coffee, a slow unhurried shower, just didn't happen. At all....
Hi Reader, Every August the same advice shows up: get your mornings together, build a routine, start the day with momentum. It's aimed at a body that gets to choose what happens next, and that's just not how mornings work when you're managing chronic illness. This week's post is about what actually helps instead. Knowing your non-negotiables, the few things that truly have to happen. Sketching out a full-capacity and a low-capacity version of your morning before you need them. Checking in...
Hi Reader, I want to tell you about the part of self-advocacy nobody warned me about. For years I thought the whole battle was getting brave enough to speak up — with my partner, with coworkers, with doctors who didn't want to hear it. And that part is real. It took me a long time to stop hinting at what I needed and just say the actual thing out loud. But here's what I didn't expect: even after I got braver, I'd still walk into appointments and blank on the details that actually mattered....