đź’ŞI create resources to help people adapt to living with chronic illness so they can thrive.
🙅‍♀️ When saying “no” starts to feel like freedom
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​ Hi Reader, Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach right before you tell someone “no”? It’s not just discomfort—it’s conditioning. Many of us were taught that being “good” means being agreeable, helpful, and low-maintenance. So when chronic illness enters the picture, that programming doesn’t disappear. It just becomes impossible to maintain. For a long time, I thought being dependable meant saying yes, even when I was exhausted. I didn’t see how often I was trading my peace for approval. But every time I stayed quiet about what I needed, I drifted further from myself. When my health shifted, silence stopped being an option. That’s what I explore in this week’s post: “The Truth About Setting Boundaries with Chronic Illness (and Why It Feels So Hard at First).” It’s not a how-to guide—it’s an honest look at what it actually feels like to speak up after years of staying small. Because the first time you set a boundary, it doesn’t feel empowering. It feels terrifying. You question yourself. But the truth is, boundaries aren’t about control or rejection—they’re about clarity. They help us rebuild our lives around our actual capacity instead of the expectations we once tried to meet. And with time, that clarity starts to feel like freedom. For me, it began in my relationships: saying no to plans that would leave me wiped out, being honest about needing quiet days, letting people be disappointed without taking it personally. Eventually, that same confidence followed me into healthcare settings, where I learned that being a “good patient” didn’t mean staying quiet—it meant being honest. If you’ve ever wondered why setting boundaries feels so unnatural, or why guilt hits harder than relief, this one’s for you. Because here’s the truth: it’s not weakness to honor your needs. It’s wisdom. You can read the full post here: ​
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April Smith | The Thriving Spoonie
đź’ŞI create resources to help people adapt to living with chronic illness so they can thrive.
Hi there Reader, Have you ever felt like your home is quietly working against you? Like no matter how much you pace or plan, even the simplest tasks—folding laundry, unloading the dishwasher, brushing your teeth—end up costing more energy than you expected? I used to think I just needed more willpower. That if I followed the right routine or “pushed through” just a little better, I’d finally stay on top of things. But eventually, I realized the problem wasn’t me. It was the space I was trying...
Hey Reader, I’ll be honest—last week was a rough week health-wise. The kind that reminds me that even with pacing, planning, and all the right tools, chronic illness has its own agenda. And when that happens, the best thing I can do is not push harder, but to pause. So, instead of forcing myself to crank out a new blog post, I wanted to send a more honest kind of update—one that I think many of us need right now as the holidays approach. If you’ve also been running on fumes lately, you’re not...
Hi Reader, I used to think pacing was about discipline—saying no more often, scheduling rest, or sticking to a perfectly balanced routine. But even when I tried to “do everything right,” burnout still crept in. That’s when I realized pacing with chronic illness isn’t really about plans at all. It’s about awareness. So I started doing something small every Sunday afternoon: a 10-minute self-check-in with my coffee and planner open beside me. Instead of jumping straight into what I wanted to do...